Melancholy in the wind and Sorrow in the grass..

What do I lack that I complain? What have I lost that I crib? What do I want that I keep hoping for? Well, nothing and everything…. Sometimes, some days, I feel a sorrow which is not mine… sometimes, some days I feel a sorrow that is all mine. Reason, no reason…. I don’t feel like hunting for the reason… I don’t feel like digging the grave.. I don’t feel like driving it out; for, why should I? I want it to sink in, conquer me and remain…… until it can no longer possess me.. I then just let it go or rather watch it go. But when it is there, it is all mine. I bask in it; I suffer with it; I cry with it; I live with it; it is all mine…..Nay, glorifying sorrow, am not! Am just giving it what is rightfully due…….. She is not a pretty child. That doesn’t deny her the right to exist. She shall be born at the hour destined, she shall grow feeding on you and me, she shall die an obscure death. But exist, she shall… may be not now, may be not then.. but sometime… exist, she shall. To her, I whisper “ Come to me when am tired of all the sweetness; come to me when I am suffocated of all the goodness; I shall then nurture you, hold you dear..

But leave you must someday and fly far away….. I shall nurture you, see you acquire wings and let you fly away, when the day comes… until then, you shall be mine… all mine… and the loved one, for in death, you leave happiness behind.”

Women's Day 2

Never have I been very particular about celebrating women's day. To me, every day is my own day, no matter how it goes. If it was a bad day, it is a 'my bad day', if it was good, it is a ' my good day' or atleast, ' my OK day'.The point is, they're all my days. So no specific day excites me just because its a women's day or anything else for that matter. This time around, I happened to be at TCS for my internship. There came an order that all women of the section have to wear saree or end up giving a treat to all the others. The saree idea being less scary of the two, I decided to comply with the order. But where do I go for one in this alien city? As me and my project mate kept hunting for one, my schoolmate came to our rescue. She happens to live in the same flat as that of my project mate and so, both of us managed to grab one each from her. A half hearted wake up in the morning, some clumsy attempts at tying the saree and some quick fixes later, we set off to the office hoping nothing horrible happened... Thankfully, nothing happened to embarass us. Anyways, it was fun, going around in saree at work ( no, not everyday.... that would be tough)

Women's Day

It came, it went.. Not many reflections, not many inspirations, not even any reason. That was international Women's day for me. Nah, I dont not believe in the essence of womanhood. But I dont agree with what is done in the name of celebrating women's day. Let me think, what would I want a day specially set aside to celebrate womanhood to be? That requires me to define my idea of womanhood. I dont know if I can put down all that I think and feel, but yeah am making an attempt. The very word 'woman' always comes to me with 'sensitivity' and 'feel' tagged along. That is something that majorly characterizes women- the ability to feel and be sensitive.Then comes an eye that can appreciate things beautiful and creative; a mind that can analyse situations and decide the best course of action; a will that can be break through any hurdle, if need be; a heart that is kind.... and ofcourse, there are those reservoirs of tears, obsession with beauty, too much senti, jealousy, gossips... all this comes as a single package.
True, there are places where women's day cherishes the great work of women and gives the impetus to reach for the stars. But this, sadly, is not what is popular. All of media and the corporate world sells a whole new concept for women's day to our women. They precisely build on those minuses of theirs.Buy more cosmetics to be beautiful, celebrity gossips, so on and so forth. Is this how we want to celebrate ourselves and what we stand for?
That aside, the very concept of women achievers annoys me. Who are achievers? what is achievement? nobel lauretes? business women? scientists? models? writers? actresses? all these and more of the rest. While the people referred to by their professions are indeed achievers, they dont define achievement. Any talent is partly inborn and partly hardwork. While they definitely need to be appreciated for their hardwork and talent, we also need to look at the other women who, in their own ways, are changing the ways things work. These professionals get paid, get recognition for their work; but what about those who work with the single aim of changing the world, dont get rewarded in any form, still go on in the path that they have chosen? what about my servant maid who has been coming to work 99% of the days despite having a drunkard husband who keeps getting into some trouble or the other? what about the friendly lady at the cafe in my college who keeps innovating to satisfy the customers even without a promise of pay hike or appreciation?what about the illiterate woman of some non descript village in maharashtra who was kicked out of her house, fully pregnant with a girl baby, and who went on to educate dozens of orphaned kids to produce doctors, lawyers and responsible citizens?what about women who have to fight everyday to merely exist? Arent they achievers too? Shouldn't they be celebrated? We seem to have a tendency of filling the platter of those already overfed and ignore the starving. It is time we shift our parameters to define what is achievement and what is not; it is time we stopped looking just at those distant stars and started looking at the flowers being crushed under our foot;it is time we celebrated the real woman....

Welcome to India Mr. Bush! But we can do without you!

As the Government of India lays out a red carpet for this madman of the millenium, I’d like to mark my protest by just penning down my thoughts in my own blog.. There isn’t much I’d like to talk about the mighty Mr. Bush. But the way our Government goes behind him wagging their tails like stray dogs going after a piece of meat ( despite knowing that its rotten!) is sick and defies all reason. I’ll let Mr. Bush talk for himself. Over to Mr. George Bush Jr.

"They misunderestimated me." — George W. Bush, Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

"I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome." —George W. Bush, defending Vice President Dick Cheney's pre-war assertion that the United States would be welcomed in Iraq as liberators, NBC Nightly News interview, Dec. 12, 2005

"For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it." —Philadelphia, Penn., May 14, 2001

"Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" —Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' —Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001

"I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport." —Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." —Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." —LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

"I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here." — President's Economic Forum in Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

"We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease." —Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001

"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself." —Grand Rapids, Mich., Jan. 29, 2003

"I saw a poll that said the right track/wrong track in Iraq was better than here in America. It's pretty darn strong. I mean, the people see a better future." —Washington, D.C., Sept. 23, 2004

"We need an energy bill that encourages consumption." —Trenton, N.J., Sept. 23, 2002

"Do you have blacks, too?" —to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001

"It is white." —after being asked by a child in Britain what the White House was like, July 19, 2001

"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." —aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right." —Rome, Italy, July 22,

I wish you'd have given me this written question ahead of time so I could plan for it…I'm sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of trying to come up with answer, but it hadn't yet….I don't want to sound like I have made no mistakes. I'm confident I have. I just haven't — you just put me under the spot here, and maybe I'm not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with one." —on being asked to name the biggest mistake he had made, Washington, D.C., April 3, 2004

"The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him." —Washington, D.C., Sept. 13, 2001

"I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." —Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

"I try to go for longer runs, but it's tough around here at the White House on the outdoor track. It's sad that I can't run longer. It's one of the saddest things about the presidency." —interview with "Runners World," Aug. 2002

I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn't do my job." —to a group of Amish he met with privately, July 9, 2004

I can only speak to myself." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005

Well, we've made the decision to defeat the terrorists abroad so we don't have to face them here at home. And when you engage the terrorists abroad, it causes activity and action." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005

"It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005

"Those who enter the country illegally violate the law." —George W. Bush, Tucson, Ariz., Nov. 28, 2005

"It's totally wiped out. ... It's devastating, it's got to be doubly devastating on the ground." —George W. Bush, turning to his aides while surveying Hurricane Katrina flood damage from Air Force One , Aug. 31, 2005

Because he's hiding." —George W. Bush, responding to a reporter who asked why Osama bin Laden had not been caught, aboard Air Force One, Jan. 14, 2005

"I'm also mindful that man should never try to put words in God's mouth. I mean, we should never ascribe natural disasters or anything else to God. We are in no way, shape, or form should a human being, play God." —George W. Bush, ABC's 20/20, Washington D.C., Jan. 14, 2005

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

"I'm the commander — see, I don't need to explain — I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president." —as quoted in Bob Woodward's Bush at War

Dhruva's musings

The following was written by Dhruva, a friend of mine. I found it echoing my
own feelings and hence am putting it up here

I don't know whether it's me or it's everybody else. Probably
both.
Everybody is going on pretending that everything is just fine.
But they're boiling inside. Even I'm putting on a show anytime
anyone asks what's up. Ya man, things are okay, just another
couple of months of college, don't know what to do but I think
I'll manage.And all the time I'm shit scared inside. It's like,
whats the use in telling people that you're concerned about
something or scared of something?How many people can we actually
talk to about our fears? That's how many real friends we have.
We keep seeing things in ourselves that we don't want to see,
don't want to acknowledge. And that makes us only look at things
on the surface, to try and hold on to. Background, 'talent',
flair, being cool, being cool because you're uncool, being a
super-me,hating and condemning everybody else as big fools
because I'm the only person who knows the secret to happiness.
But what makes us hold on? Why do we keep trying to say, I'm this,
I'm that,I'm not this, I'm not that, I should do this, not that,
this is good, that is bad?It's funny because we keep talking all
the time about freedom and free spirit and all that like it's a
distant dream, and at the same time, we only try to keep it as a
dream because we don't want it now.We want to build these big
ideas,these buildings, we make plans, we think we should do
things this way or that way because this is what I believe in and
that's not what I believe in. This-ism, that-ism. And in the end,
the thing we build or make will reflect all of that, but we're too
stuck to see it. We don't want to be wrong. We think and then
we freeze and then that's who we are for the rest of eternity.
And then if we want to be something else, we beat up ourselves
about that too.
And as a part of the yo! generation, we continue to criticise
governments and corporations and institutions and power structures
and families and parents and traditions for saying 'Do this, do
that,don't do this, don't do that, when the real culprits are
ourselves. We don't see that most of the things we do and think
are just reactions.We don't allow ourselves to evolve. It's all
in jerks and pushes and shoves. Yes, no, no, yes. We choose to
see the differences among ourselves, but don't see the similarities.
We don't even see that we have a choice about that. We all want to
have all the answers. We want to play all games on our own terms.
We're still slaves. We want slavery. We don't want to accept that
we can actually do anything anytime anywhere. The thought is scary.
We only want to project the illusion of freedom by showing people
that we are go-getters and big achievers and what not. But we're
driven by our own blocks. We often don't want to acknowledge what
we don't know.

How technology is screwing my life! :(

Sorry folks, those of you who are hardcore techies. But I just realized that all those automated technologies have been screwing my life rather than making it easier.

Scene I:

A month back, I lost my mobile and the person who stole it has apparently been misusing it. To block that number I was required to produce a copy of the FIR, which I promptly did. The number was blocked, but the problem was in getting my replacement sim activated. After being misguided for n times by the customer care service of my service provider, I was finally asked to contact their nearest showroom. It was then that those guys discovered that they cant do anything either. Run back to the outlet where I got the sim. Now, they had this unintelligible software problem, about which they could do nothing. And they didn’t know who could do something about it or when the problem would be taken care of…. Two days of screaming at all those people.. I had to leave the city without my sim ever getting activated :(

Scene II

My prepaid card’s validity got over and I wanted an immediate recharge. In office for work, I thought I’d go in for the online recharge facility that my bank and the service provider jointly offered. So here I get a taste of the so-ezee online banking/recharge. The amount for recharge gets deducted from my bank account but My card has not been recharged even after 24 hours of parting with my money. When I went to the nearest dealer to register a complaint, all that they tell me is that nothing can be done about it until things are taken care of automatically. May be, they suggest, I should take another recharge card to receive calls until the previous one starts working.. What the ****?

Now one thing that I observed in both the situations is that nobody takes any responsibility. Afterall, the dealer is not responsible for ur sim not getting activated, nor is the customer care executive….. you cant blame them.. that’s unfair! So, who is responsible? Whom can you question? If technology is about disowning responsibility and cooking up excuses and having to put up with poor service, hell with it!