Rang De Basanti

Finally, I got to see this movie... I should say that I liked it. I've been disturbed ever since I came back from the movie hall. Its not just the movie, its more about the way we react to things. I made it a point to observe all the faces coming out of the theatre. Sad... morose... just shades of the same basic emotion; but none angry.... I understand that this is microcosmic of the way our people as a nation react to things. We are a nation of defeatists.. we accept things the way they are; we know something is bad, but we also 'know' that nothing can be done about it. We are comfortable living with the known devil. This resigned attitude annoys me. Are we dead? Why cant we resist something that we know is injustice? Why dont we ever question?
I felt the surge of a deep rooted anger in me when I saw the movie. You might laugh at me for saying that. I give you that liberty... You might say that its just a movie.. nothing of that can happen in real;but in this, I beat you! It does...
I feel angry because I know that its not just a movie, because I remember the footage of the lathi charge in Bhopal of the peaceful protestors where Nity was getting beaten up and arrested (I called it romantic then!), because I remember that the zapatistas who are fighting against a government that sells their land and brands them as a threat to the nation, because I remember that the tribals of New Papua are killed mercilessly in trying to protect their mother forest, because I know that the tribals in Orissa are getting killed in the process of establishing their rights,because an innocent fisherman in a hamlet down south was asked to change his profession when he got an acid burn due to the callousness of the industry monsters, because I know that inspite of all this brutality there are people who dont give up and there are people who keep fighting it with all that they have,because I know that such things happen now, this very moment in some part of this country, in some part of the world and because I am bloody well able to see... Blame it on my senses!
And untill the rest of the society starts feeling angry, we shall make movies.. we shall feel sorry....

Its a world of difference!

I just discovered how difficult it is, just being me!Hold on... its not about all those principles and ideas that I keep talkin about.. Its about being Ms.Bhuvana Murali, the way I am..
Well, I dont seem to be able to categorize myself, fit myself anywhere at all... I seem to be such a cocktail ( that sounds fancy!) But then, why do I have to fit in somewhere? There's this constant necessity of having to identify yourself to others in order to be able to DEFINE yourself. So am I a capitalist or socialist? Do I prefer to be formal or alternative or bohemian? Do I like continental or south Indian? Am I an altruist or am I a misanthrope?The list goes on...
This obsession with being either black or white... why? Why cant there be gray? or why cant I be nothing... why cant I be something of everything, why cant I be something now and another thing later.. Ofcourse, that is how I am.. so how do I then define myself to people who dont acknowledge the existence of such differences?
I dont believe in building relationship strictly based on things common... Yeah, its fun to have someone who shares your interests and opinions but wont that make you the frog in the well? I need variety, I need flavours, I need colours......... I need a difference, for, in diversity, I grow....in diversity, I live....... in diversity, I am!

Beyond the obvious

So here we are, a nation of software engineers... there are dozens of those Indian MNCs doing good business. Suddenly, it seems like these companies have made our population more urbane, more productive and more of everything that we ever want to be. But sadly thats not the truth. These companies have only made our youth more dumb than ever. In one such companies for my internship... just been here for a month and am already feelin suffocated, wasted.. Yeah, they work, they earn, they spend... wat then?
What about the quality of work? What about innovative thought process? What about job satisfaction? Excuse me! did I just make a mistake?!
Most of this working culture, this environment doesnt make sense (to me, that is!) I can guarantee that not more than 10% of the working population is occupied with work for more than half their stay in the office during the day. But you've got to be there.... you stare at the walls, you chat, you snore, you hatch eggs.. no issues; just be there. Nothing to boost your intellect. No interaction ( save it for the once-in-a- bluemoon picnics or parties). The only active interaction I observe here is the kind when someone gets sweets to celebrate an occasion; then the entire department swarms around that person throughout the day. They dont talk the day before, nor the day after. Its like you know.... one night stand. Ugh! Worse than all of these is their work. Most of it is plagiarism. I have no idea if just converting an algorithm into a program and commercializing is one... but am sure it has nothing innovative to do with it. Here, challege lies in finishing your work on time, in overcoming your laziness,in lifting your finger, in staying awake......... Well, over my head!

Sad! Sad! Sad!!

Take diversion

Its a war against terror! Thats the hot ( or has it already become stale?)topic doing the rounds at the media houses. And the numerous crash courses on how to lead a peaceful life, the self help books.. whew! The world just seems to be so full of people who want only peace but are forced to live in a harsh environment!

The inherent restlessness of the society is only becoming more apparent these days. Every community has its own version of it- terrorism, resistance movements, communal riots, murder, sexual assaults, petty crimes ... So, assuming that this is not what we want, how did such violence and terror become established?

Think about it! We can probably be looking at these from many angles like- mode of expression (violence/ offense) , target population ( antisocial ) etc if we go the routine way. But if we decide to take a deeper look at it, we might probably have to examine the root cause behind all this unrest. What good reason can there be at the root of societal unrest of different natures, some of you might ask... or the better lot of you might actually pop out with the answer that the injustice done to the perpetrator somewhere down the line by the society or its prominent members is what is the common thread is.. Well, may be thats true. But that still doesn't address the basic question ( atleast from how I look at it)

To me, the root of such restlessness traces down to the way we equip our citizens to live life. Take a look at any of the millions of schools around the world. Almost all of them, with may be some exceptions , use punishment as an effective tool to handle any misbehavior. No fault of a child is tolerated in a classroom and is invariably awarded with either a physical punishment or a mental one (being labeled, insulted in front of the class). It is here that we sow into those little minds that any deviation from the normal/ accepted behavior should be dealt with severely. No attempt is made at actually analyzing the fault, understanding it or correcting it. We do not make allowances for the innocent actions of those children. In many cases, the kids come to know that they actually did something wrong only when they are punished for their actions. So it is recorded into their minds that this action is not accepted and repeating it would invite the wrath of the teacher or any adult for that matter; no explanations offered as to why it is not acceptable, how it would hurt the others. You hurt me- I hurt you harder... thats it. This is what we convey to our kids. Perplexed, finding no one to offer an explanation, these kids develop a database for themselves on the list of unaccepted social behavior and the punishments associated with them. This becomes their Bible in interacting with people. Even when two kids fight, the teacher punishes the one who appears to be the most aggressive and tries to put an end to the issue. MESSAGE: Stop a violent action with greater violence. The strongest then, seems to be the fairest. May be this is our own way of interpreting Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest. Too much of science to be brought in to human relationships!

As the child grows up and encounters with any injustice he thinks is done to him, he just reacts the way he has been programmed to. Afterall, we haven't taught him to think.. We've just taught him to follow.

If our race can admit to this blunder that we've committed, it'd probably help us revise our methods, if not undo. And for those of you who've been wondering what this world is coming to, its just following the coordinates that we've set. It would be hence, wise for us to change the coordinates before its too late.

Missin ya ppl!

Three and half years spent in a college you loathe and would never like to go back to doesn't seem to be as simple as that afterall... Yeah, you hate it, you wish you had never gone there in the first place, you never intend to go back there.. but is that all? strangely, NO!
When I look back, I can't help but remember all the fun I had there despite the number of lows I experienced. The bad times I had to pull through might far exceed the good times. But surprisingly, I can only remember the good times vividly. I have no memory of the details of those bad times. It was bad... thats about it.
First year was amazing. It was then that none of us had any formed opinions and gelled with almost everybody equally well. There were no groups to start with. Life was one big party! But then slowly, all those fights and quarrels cropped up. For the short tempered person that I was, I seemed to be picking up one far too often. Even then, we could forget, we could forgive..... Afterall, we were away from home and needed to be there for each other... Some differences were inherent and inevitable. We learnt to live with it... To compensate for these were all those midnight birthday parties, birthday bumps, throwing cake at each other, getting caught by the warden, giggling through a round of firing, the treats, the photo sessions, the ghost- calling, year end batch party.... fun, fun and more fun!
Then came the second year when people were forced to stick to certain groups for ease of survival ( u've got to choose ur roomies!) Everyday parliament stopped forever now. A hi here and a bye there... this would do to maintain that line of friendship. One's circle became reduced to one's own room and may be one or two more. You live with them, you go to class with them, you party with them, go out with them.. its a 24*7 relationship. Now again, you've been seeing and sticking to them for too long. Minor differences are magnified manifold. All you need is a change. Afterall, haven't you adjusted enough? Also, you feel this circle might not exactly contribute to your intellectual requirements. Oh God! How did I end up in this circle at all?Bang comes a split.But you're not exactly sad; you needed it desperately...
And here.. you're now in the third year- the pre final! With new room mates, life seems to be easier. Now faced with the tough question of what to do next, you brainstorm every night prepare for one of those million exams that'll help you get through the next stage of life. Tension, tension, tension... but hey atleast you feel responsible! Thats when things suddenly change. You start questioning yourself, your ambitions, your principles and almost everything around you. Do you actually wanna go for what everybody else does? Dont you wanna live a purposeful/meaningful life? Then you drop all your previous plans and go on this new path that you've chosen.., and you're happy with it; only you lose a couple more friends. But it really doesn't matter. Its nothing before the satisfaction you derive from treading the path that you've chosen. You are satisfied with your life....
Finally, the final year. The campus recruitment fanfare marks the beginning of the year. You land up in a decent job at the very beginning and are very pleased with yourself. The preparation, interview and the post recruitment congratulations, you forget all differences and become friends with everybody again. You've gained your friends back and you're happy. Life cant be better. Each day moves with the thought that this is gonna be the last few months that you can spend with your friends and it only makes you all the more determined to have all the fun before the year comes to an abrupt end.You choose to ignore the differences, give up sometimes, avoid any possible arguments, choose to look at only the positives of the others and in the process, realise that you have your own faults too! This is one period that defines your entire college life, for you only want to make the best out of the available time and prepare yourself for the future challenges. This is one time which helps you understand that the differences could have been tolerated, the splits and the ugly fights avoided.... you realize that your friends are wonderful no matter what happened in the past, you come to appreciate that they're just like you are and that they might have yielded to momentary pressures and frustrations just as you did, you repent for all the lost time that could have been spent in their company.....Never mind! you now treasure them all the more! It is wonderful, you have no complaints, you even forgive your faculties(!) for wasting your precious time and brains.... Then comes the painful parting. Writing slam books, taking pictures... there's so much to do before we leave.. But with all these comes the promise that you'd always keep in touch and never forget each other. The last minute teary eyed hugs and kisses, not wanting to say bye, promises, hopes............ missing ya ppl!

NOTE: This is specially dedicated to my very special friends vithya, dhivya, priya, pops, mei, jaggu, raji, pavitra who tolerated me, accepted me and loved me( I believe they do!) with all my pluses and more of my minuses. I've been nasty to them at times, but deep inside, I love them all a lot. I know I couldnt have made it through these years without them. May be I could have, but then, they made it wonderful and they made it special!

Learning.. redefined!

 Two useless weeks at TCS……I needed a break! That was
when I decided to bunk work on Friday and visit the
Centre for Learning. I fixed up an appointment with Ms.
Gurveen Kaur for the day and left for the place without
any idea about the Centre. After a long journey ( and
getting lost in the deserted village that the place
was!) I was welcomed by a couple of cheerful old women.
As I entered the place a quote by Mark Twain hit me hard
“Don’t let the school interfere with your
learning!”…Over lunch we had our introduction session.
After the lunch, Gurveen aunty introduced me to the
senior bunch of kids (class six and seven… they have
classes only till seventh grade). This small group was
anything but the normal school kids you’d expect to
meet. With their impeccable language ( they learn a lot
of them out here- Bengali, Assamese, Telugu, Hindi,
English and know a bit of Tamil and Malayalam too!)
they initiated a conversation with me. I could see no
inhibitions in them despite the fact that I was a
stranger. And whats more, they asked their teachers to
leave them alone with me. So did the teacher without a
scowl… Each one narrated how they were labeled in the
previous institutions that they studied in as ‘FAILURES’
and how they’ve come to enjoy learning at CFL.  Here,
students are not put into the respective classes
according to their age; instead, their learning
abilities, the actual content that they’ve learnt are
assessed and are put in classes accordingly. A girl
jokingly asked her classmate if he was not ashamed of
being in class six at the age of fifteen. I thought it
was gonna be ugly. I expected the girl to be warned by
the teacher. But the teacher told her very patiently “
My dear child, look at it from this point of view… I do
not know German language. If I start learning it now,
I’d be in at the kindergarten level. But I don’t think
that is something that I should be ashamed of. The very
fact that I’ve realized that I don’t know something and
that I’ve set out to learn it is to be appreciated and
that is what matters!” I was stunned. Never in my school
life has a teacher dealt with a student at fault with
such patience and common sense. I don’t think that girl
would ever forget this reply in her life; nor do I think
that she’d make fun of people the way she just did…
Isn’t this education? Shouldn’t we be providing just
this to our kids? Well I strongly believe so! Even the
process of evaluation in this school involves the
participation of the students. The students are asked if
they’re happy with their progress, how better they think
they could have performed, what they think needs to be
done to do better and so on. Each child’s evaluation is
tailor made and is based on the joint analysis of
his/her progress by the child and the teacher. There are
no exams to rank them. When I asked the students how
they felt about not having exams, pat came a reply “Yeah
we can do without exams. But our friends in other
schools say that exams are a big tension. We’d like to
have exams once to see if they’re actually one!”.. We
then left the students to work on their own (it was a
craft class) to have a discussion. I could observe no
chaos in the absence of a teacher. Each one went about
doing his own job with of course some soft talking. In a
normal school, this never happens; even if it does,
there is an element of threat of punishment involved.
But here, the children needed no instructions, no
threats, no monitors. That in itself is a big
achievement for the school. I saw parents waiting after
the school hours to collect their wards. But the
students weren’t really too eager to leave school the
moment it was over. In fact , the teacher had to remind
them that it was time to go home. A juxtaposition of
this with a typical scenario in any other school made a
huge contrast. I remember reading once that the quality
of a school can be assessed from how eager the kids run
out as soon as the bell rings. That way, this was the
best school I’ve ever seen. Coming out of the school,
the guys of the higher classes escort the girls till
some point to avoid any potential problems from the
‘men’ in that locality. As I walked back to the nearest
bus stop with a teacher, she expressed how happy she is,
to work with these kids. She also says that there is no
‘Bell System’ in the school because that would restrict
both the teacher and the students in choosing to work
either more or less on a particular subject. This way
the students get to choose if and how long he wants to
work on a subject on a particular day. I can go on and

on about this school… But to sum it up all, I should say
am awe inspired.